Do you have a sibling you are always being compared to? Are you tired of hearing your brothers’ or sisters’ names come up in every college conversation? If so, this is a must read, and must share article with your parents. Here in an excerpt below.
Throughout my career, I have had the privilege of working with many siblings as they individually go through the admissions process. While parents are the first to acknowledge that their children differ greatly, they have also been the first to make comparisons.
I once worked with two brothers separated by four years. The older brother got into every school he applied to and turned down some of the top schools in the country. When we began creating the younger brother’s modest yet ambitious college list, he became visibly upset when his father repeatedly mentioned his older brother’s accomplishments. I had to stop the parents after they mentioned the older brother 15 times.
In another situation, a parent said in front of the child that the family didn’t want to send the child to private school and would rather save the money for the younger daughter who had potential. Though the logic isn’t unreasonable per se, sharing it in front of the children is.
Here are some tips to leave parent-induced sibling rivalry at the door.
1. Treat your children like the individuals they are. Whether you are going through the admissions process for the first or the fifth time, recognize that this is a major step in your child’s life. While you should definitely learn from experiences with older children, those experiences should not dictate this process. The admissions process has changed even from just two years ago. Your child is likely very different from his sibling(s). Focus your attention on the individual process.
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